Fatty Batter XI

"That night the burdens of selection weigh heavily on my mind and it's nearly midnight before I drift off. But at least I've come up with a side that represents strength and depth in all aspects of the game. Apart from myself and Colin Milburn, my middle order boasts Henry VIII, Dan Dare, The Saint, The Man from UNCLE and the Wild Man of Borneo.  The bowling attack, too, offers variety. Captain Hurricane from the Valiant and Alf Tupper from the Victor will be taking the new ball, and on the basis that Afro-Caribbeans are naturally gifted at the game I've also included Al Jolson. Dad is wicketkeeper.


Kevin's team, by contrast, reflects his parents' influence. The entire team is comprised of military leaders of the Second World War, including Rommel, MacArthur, Alanbrooke, General Patton, Field Marshal Montgomery and Dwight Eisenhower.


The result is, of course, a forgone conclusion. Al Jolson trying to out-strategise Marshal Zhukov was a non-starter. I lose by an innings. The ignominy of watching Colin Milburn dismissed in each innings for single figures, both times to Admiral Yamamoto, proves the final straw."


The Fatty Batter XI

Michael Simkins (cpt.)

Colin Milburn

Henry VIII

Dan Dare

The Saint

The Man From UNCLE

Wild Man of Borneo

Dad (wkt.)

Al Jolson

Captain Hurricane

Alf Tupper



'An instant classic' Stephen Fry is quoted on the cover and Fry's Chocolate Creams feature on the inside pages as Michael Simkins takes us back to the nostalgic long hot summer days of our childhood. Autobiographical in nature Simkins looks at his life through the prism of cricket offering personal insights both funny, insightful and poignant.


Fatty Batter: How Cricket Saved My Life (Then Ruined It)

Michael Simkins

Ebury Press 2008

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